Thursday, March 26, 2009

Assignment from Mama's Losing It: Somebody I'm praying for....


After reading Mama Kat's post on this subject, I am using this prompt to tell my story of answered prayer - as well as continued prayer.


My husband & I have been married for 10 years next month. We both came out of previous relationships, his ending with death and leaving him with a son, and mine ending in divorce and leaving me with a son and a daughter. When we married, we blended the two families and decided that was enough (my youngest was only 2 at the time). A few years later I was told that I had to have a hysterectomy as I'd caught something from my previous philandering husband that had damaged my uterus beyond repair. I suddenly realised that I wanted to have a baby with David, and it was too late. I had the operation, and battled with depression and the desperation to have a baby.

Three years ago, I started praying for a baby. I had such a strong desire for a baby that I had to believe that God wanted me to pray. I remember discussing my decision to pray for a baby with some friends, and they asked why we didn't just adopt. I remember exactly what I said, "No, absolutely not, my husband will never agree to that - it has to be our own." You see, I'd decided that it would be easier for God to restore my womb than it would be for Him to change my husband's heart.

I prayed and prayed. I cried and I prayed. I went for tests, I went for scans. I swung between faith as solid as a rock to being filled with doubt and anger with God.

One day while chatting to a friend about all this, she asked me why I didn't try registering with Child Welfare as a Place of Safety to occupy my time and give me babies to love for short periods while I waited for my miracle. I approached my husband about this, and although I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do (what if my miracle happened and I was taking care of a place of safety child), I believed that God will direct a moving vehicle and asked my husband. To my suprise he agreed, and we completed all the forms and were interviewed and accepted.

I prayed and prayed. Now I was praying to two things. No baby. I used the time to deal with issues in my life, such as forgiveness of my ex for causing me to have to have the hysterectomy. I was frustrated - there are many, many babies dumped in this country every month, and not even one was sent my way!

A year later, the much anticipated call came, and my daughter and I rushed to the Welfare offices to collect our baby. She was supposed to stay for a few days - that was 6 months ago. She was supposed to be sent to a childrens' home - there was no room. She was supposed to go to her father - he didn't want her. Her mother was going to get out of jail and take her - she doesn't want to anymore. My husband originally said "no" to foster care - we go to court next week Thursday to finalise the fostercare case.

God does answer prayer - just not always the way we expect. So who am I praying for right now? I'm praying for Simmi. I'm praying that she is protected from all prejudices that surround a black child who is brought up in a white home, I am praying she stays healthy and that she is kept safe. I'm praying that she grows up and meets a wonderful man who will accept her for who she is regardless of her unusual upbringing. I'm praying and praying.

8 comments:

Unknown said...

I'm praying for you too. What a wonderful post!

Jenners said...

Visiting from Mama Kats...

I hope she finds a safe and loving place ... with you or another family. And life does work in mysterious ways ... you never know what is going to happen.

Anonymous said...

I agree that God always answers prayers and that it may or may not be in the way we expected. But he does answer. I loved this post.

Casey said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog, and tell your son its been almost 19 years since that happened and I still haven't caught anything bigger. I usually wind up catching trees.
I wanted to tell you that I will be praying for you and your family. That was an awesome post, and it's obvious God has a purpose for your family. Keep trusting Him and letting Him use you, and everything will work out. Romans 8:28

Unknown said...

And I will be praying with you. This is a beautiful story. A story of God's grace and love and providence. And Simi, well, she is beautiful beyond compare. What a wonderful baby girl and what a wonderful story! May God bless you richly! I will pray for a good Judge!

Remus said...

I see no mention of the fact that your husband was himself neutered.

Caren said...

Oh My Goodness! I am so happy to see you back in the blogging world. Your posts about Simmi touched me many months ago and then when I thought you were going to have to give her up...there were no more posts. I've been checking your blog periodically and hoping for news. I'm so glad to hear that she's still with you and thriving. What a beautiful child she is!

Thanks for continuing to share your story with us!

KatBouska said...

And I'm praying too! I really believe she was meant for you and your family...even if you are really a Nigerian scammer. ;)

No really, I'm SO glad everything is working out the way it should!!