The Saga of Simmi

Assignment for Mama Kat is the post below this one

It’s almost 7 weeks now since Simmi came into our lives. Today we meet once more with Child Welfare to hear what they have decided about Simmi’s future. There was a committee meeting held on Tuesday to discuss Simmi because her case is so complicated. They have investigated the possibility of Simmi’s mom being granted asylum in South Africa, but because she now has a criminal record this is not going to happen. She will definitely be deported to Zimbabwe to serve out whatever prison sentence is handed down. Apparently Welfare’s options are as follows:

1. When the mother is deported, to deport Simmi as well. Not with her mother, but separately to a children’s home or orphanage as her mother will still be incarcerated. They would try to find a home close to the jail so that the mother would be able to find her easily when she is released, and there would be a possibility of visitation.

2. Keep Simmi here in South Africa in foster care where at least she is safe and well-cared for. However, there is then the probability that she will never see her mother again.

3. Convince the mother to allow Simmi to be adopted.

4. Grant the father (who doesn't want her) custody. Simmi is the product of an extra-marital affair and her father’s wife doesn’t know she exists. This would mean that the wife would then have to bring up the product of her husband’s unfaithfulness, and the chances are that she will resent Simmi and mistreat her as a result.

Now I am very nervous. At 15h00 today I will find out what they have decided to recommend. What huge controversy surrounds this precious little person. She doesn’t even have a birth certificate because her mother couldn’t register her as she is here illegally. I can’t bear the thought of her being sent to an orphanage. The situation in Zimbabwe is grim, and I can’t imagine her being well cared for, or even fed if they send her there.

On the other hand, what about her mother? How will she feel about never being able to see her baby girl again? I can imagine the heartache because now I’m facing it too. How will she feel if her baby is sent to Zimbabwe, knowing what is waiting for her there – why did she come to South Africa illegally in the first place – desperation to get away from there. Apparently, the mother has no rights here at all because of the circumstances.

As I write this post, I am listening to Simmi playing outside with the other children, screeching with delight and clapping her little hands. She loves school, and she’s so happy here. I’m praying & holding my breath ……….

Assignment - The First Time I......

The first time I saw my daughter dance she was 4 years old.
There were ballet classes at the nursery school that she attended. I remember the ballet concert at the end of the year. My then husband leaned over and whispered to me - "Oh my goodness (well probably not those exact words knowing him), she's like a baby elephant!"

I remember pink leotards and tiny ballet socks and shoes, and practise, practise, practise. She wanted to be a ballerina.

Now it's pointe shoes and Royal Academy of Dance membership, and teacher exams. As the most senior girl in her ballet studio, my Sherae is the dancer all the little girls in thier pink leotards and tiny ballet socks and shoes look up to. They all want to be like her. She's a ballerina.

This coming Saturday is the year-end ballet concert. I know that as usual I will cry when I watch her float effortlessly across the floor. I know that the applause for her dances will sound louder to me than for any of the other dancers.

I'll be standing there clutching the camera and the video camera, trying to watch, take photos and record at the same time, whilst battling my emotions. It seems like yesterday that my "baby elephant" was prancing across the stage - thump, thump, thump. Trying to point her toes, and twirling in front of the mirror.

The first time I saw my daughter dance, I never imagined I'd still be watching 12 years later.

My 10 Pet Peeves - Assignment

Once again it's been a long time since I last blogged. I'm living in baby land. Anyway, my ten pet peeves - I chose this assigment because it sounded so easy.

1. This is a new peeve, but it definitely ranks as number 0ne: People staring at me in the shops because I have a black baby. Everytime I go out I have to steel myself against this and stop myself from yelling "Hey, what are you looking at - you got a problem - you want a problem?!?"

Madonna, Angelina (embarassed cough), um, I'm not sure how to break this to you, er....... I know you think everyone stares at you because you're famous......... Sorry, that's not it. It's because you each have a black baby!

2. Anybody who is always late and doesn't bother to let me know.

3. Bad table manners.

4. People who smoke - especially when around children, when pregnant or breastfeeding.

5. Rude, badly behaved, nasty, tantrum-throwing children. Let me clarify, all children try all these things from time to time, but they have to be taught from the outset that it's not acceptable behaviour. I managed to teach mine from when they were small - it is possible!

6. Speedo swimming costumes (the ones that look like tiny underpants) on any male older than 5 years old.

7. Kids' inability to put ANYTHING into the dishwasher which is right next to the sink which is the dumping ground.

8. Human Airbags. IE: people who allow small children and babies to sit on their lap in the front seat of the car, or people who just don't bother to strap their children into a car seat.

9. Irresponsible fathers. My ex used to be my prime example, however, upon meeting with Simmi's father, I've a new perspective on this. In court last week he informed the magistrate that he doesn't want Simmi because he has 3 other children from various women, and Simmi is not a boy! This is Africa...

10. Good grief, I'm on number 10 already! I could go on all day... Well at number 10 we have Bad Service. No matter from what source, restaurants, shops, builders, plumbers - whatever. I hate to receive bad service and can get extremely vocal about it. Clear the room if you ever see me storming into a shop!

My Sweet Baby

Oh dear I'm now so attached to this baby! She has become part of our family, and we all love her. When she smiles at me in the morning when she wakes up, my heart overflows. When I see her during the day at school she screeches and waves her arms about and gives me this huge gummy smile - it makes me feel like the most important person in the world. She hardly ever cries, she sleeps through most nights, and she's happy and friendly.

Sherae calls her "my little sister-friend". I don't know what I'd do without Sherae. She helps entertain my little person when I need to do things like shower! Simmi doesn't like anybody feeding her except me, but when I'm desperate then Sherae manages to get some food or milk in for me.

Michael calls her his "little chick magnet" because when we go to church and she sits on his lap, all the girls stop to say how cute she is (of course), and he's getting the benefit. He's so good with her as well. She puts her arms out to him and he picks her up and holds her and chats to her.

Tyler is now a big brother. He's been the baby in the house for 12 years. It's so sweet to see him telling Simmi, "No, don't touch that!", "You mustn't do that!" in his big brother voice.

Michael is 18

On 9th October Michael turned 18. Wow, I can't believe that he's already 18 years old. Old enough to vote, get a driver's license and drink (although he doesn't). I can hardly believe this is the same little boy I became mother to almost ten years ago. He's almost finished school, and is probably off to the USA next year to be a Camp Councellor for Camp America....


Happy 18th Birthday Michael! We went out to dinner to celebrate:


Tyler & "Ouma" ("Granny" in Afrikaans)







Sherae & Michael

David, Simmi & Me

Life with Simmi

I was looking through photographs for inspiration for a blog when I came across this one. It may not look very inspiring, but it made me stop and think of how drastically my life has changed in
the last 2 weeks. This picture was taken at a coffee shop where David & I were enjoying a leisurely breakfast date. Then came Simmi.

No more leisurely anything. I'm lucky if I get to shave my legs once a week, nevermind put on more than a dash of mascara in the mornings. Afternoon naps are a thing of the past, and meals are left half-eaten. I've lost 4kg (8.81 pounds) in 2 weeks from running around after my little crawler. I've dicovered a new meaning for the word "tired", and I've been reminded of the meaning of the word "love" because love her I do! She is the sweetest baby in the whole world.

Think of me on Thursday morning. I'm going to court with Simmi to find out what her uncertain future holds. Her mother will probably be there, and I am not looking forward to meeting her under such nasty circumstances. I've had no success in trying to arrange to visit her before court. I was hoping to build some sort of relationship with her so I could visit regularly and Simmi wouldn't forget her. Our welfare system leaves a lot to be desired!

A Holiday & My New Baby

First, some pictures of our holiday.....

My goodness it's been a long time since I last blogged! I was just getting into it, and life happened. First, it was school holidays and my family and I went away for a few days to a lovely resort called Klein Kariba where there are hot water pools and tons of stuff to do. We had a wonderful time.

THEN in the 2nd week of the holidays ............... More than a year ago I registered with the Child Welfare Department as a place of safety for abandoned babies. I have been waiting all this time for them to call me, and eventually, last Monday, the call came. Simmi (Simphiwe) is a 7 month old baby girl. Her mom is a Zimbabwean national who is in SA illegally. She was caught stealing food for Simmi, and was put in jail. Simmi couldn't stay in jail with her, and was removed and has come to live with me while the children's court investigate everything. She is the most beautiful little girl. She's settled into our family perfectly, and we love her. I feel terribly sorry for her mom. I've been trying to arrange to visit her with Simmi, but the court is not very interested in arranging a visit.

Please note how in this picture I look about 100 years old! My youngest child is 12 years old, and having a 7 month old baby has been an incredible shock to my system! But it's so worth it - isn't she adorable! It will be so hard when I have to give her back. :-(